from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
