so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
