I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This baby is an asshole
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
