never play flip cup with pint glasses
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
