please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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