are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
