I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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