I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
