1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A+ Viking dick
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