how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
