Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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