Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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