hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
