I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
