If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
