According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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