Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
