I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
