Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
