This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
