Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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