she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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