I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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