If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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