So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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