I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
