i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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