ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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