5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
