Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
