dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He felt like a one man threesome
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize