Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
