discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
