Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
