the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
