Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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