you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
