Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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