he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
