My friends, they love my intelligence
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
