I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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