We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh god it's open bar.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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