Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
