Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
