How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
