You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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