I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize