I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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