I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
