Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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