just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
