oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Four minutes until I can fart!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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