I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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