I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
