You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
