you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
