you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
