It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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