Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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