My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
