Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
