i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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