I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
