Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
