Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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