Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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