It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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