So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
